Parang ayoko na yata?

Haaaay. I never thought this will be this stressful. As in.

Calibration calls. Huddles. On call.
Managers. Director. Global. Clients.
Deck. Business review. Touchbase.

Haaaaaay! I just want to feel normal again.

posted from Bloggeroid

Patanggal naman o!

Gusto ko sumigaw.
Gusto ko tumalon.
Gusto ko tumakbo.
Anggang maubos siya.

Matulog.
Maglunch.
Umuwi.
At kalimutan siya.

Ipasa na.
Tayo na.
Lakad na.
Para matapos na!

Haaaaay.
Patanggal naman ng kaba o.
Paiwan muna sa'yo.
Balikan ko mamaya. Pwede?

posted from Bloggeroid

Am I?

I am ready.

Yes, I am.

I am..

Am I?

*sigh*

I just finished Mass today at St. Jude, my patron saint. I missed him since I fail to attend the usual Thursday novena because of... *insert excuse here*. So I made sure to come as early as now to attend mass here.



I still have the feels whenever I go here. I feel weak and strong at the same time. I feel weak coz I know I'm called and I don't deserve Him most of the time. But I feel strong, too, coz I know I'm accepted and I know He'll guide me. Tandem pa sila ni patron saint ko. :)

Right timing coz my interview's coming up this Tuesday. I asked for guidance and to help me all through out. I know I can do better. I know I'll be better. I know I can do more if I got it.

While praying, I just kept on asking for his guidance. Just like when I was applying for my position now, I asked for his and His guidance. The first time, I know I was not fully ready with all the responsibity that's waiting for me. I even cried after the interview knowing I won't bag the position but I learned to accept it as a learning experience. On the second time that I applied, I know I'm ready and I'm glad He guided me and never faltered to be on my side all throughout.

This time, I'm scared but I think I'm ready. When I was offering my prayers awhile ago, that's the time I felt that I'm ready. This is for me. Sabi nga nila, "Claim it!"

At times I feel boastful while thinking all these but I know I can do better. I can influence more. I can help more. Although I'm doing things beyond my scope already and can still do things even without the position that I'm aiming more, the things I can do more... *sigh*

If ever I won't bag the position, at least I tried. I know God has a plan... always.

But for now, I will remain positive. This is it!

I am ready.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friends or boyfriend?

I feel guilty at times whenever I enjoy being with my friends when I'm with my boyfriend. It looks like I enjoyed it more with them than the other way around. Is it that bad?

Years ago, I learned from a friend, Lhouie, that you should always take time to whoever asks you first. If your friends asked you on a date and you agreed on it, you can't just cancel it just because your boyfriend asked you afterwards. It should be like a first come first serve basis kind of thing. You don't give up on your friends because of the love of your life.

But just the same, your friends should respect your time with your boyfriend. They shouldn't be jealous of him because you have a different kind of relationship.

Although sometimes, like yesterday, I feel guilty. My friends and I already scheduled going to S&R to eat out aside from registering to be a member. I asked my boyfriend to come with us since I want him to have the same experience and my friends won't mind. So after work, we went there and enjoyed food, laughing and sharing stories.

Rai and I was supposed to watch a movie but because we're stuffed with food, we were sleepy. He was also considering my shift at night so he did not push me in watching a movie. So we went home and I fell asleep.

I woke up then receiving a message from him that I was not able to comfort him about his problems at work. I totally forgot about it since I've been thinking that he's already okay since he'll go back to work already the next day. So right there and then, I felt really bad for him and myself.

Now I'm thinking, was it wrong to enjoy myself with the company of my friends even though I'm with my boyfriend? Or I just assummed everything was fine with my boyfriend? Am I just scared to be labelled as someone who's heads over heels with him when I'm in front of my friends? Or my love for him should be questioned already?

Oh, well...

posted from Bloggeroid

Push mo yan!

I received a message yesterday that I cannot share to anybody but some already have an idea.

After knowing the 'news', the 'plan' was made concrete.

I don't know. I wanna try it but I'm scared to fail. Isn't such a coward thing to do?

1. What if you know you can but you don't know if you're good enough? It's like you know how to dance but you don't know if it's worth to try in joining a contest?

2. You love what you do but... what can I say? It's like deciding if you can evolve your hobby into a job or sort of an income.

3. I always say that as long as we're single, grab every opportunity since you can still say yes and you don't have much of a responsibility. Going home late? Not a problem. No need to think of your husband/kid that need more of your time.

4. Are you ready? Then again... there's no such thing as perfect timing. :|

Oh well...

posted from Bloggeroid

Brake

Head's dizzy
Stomach's churning
Smell makes me sneezy

Every move
Every stop
Feels like hiccups

No energy for me
No power over you
No time to spare

Don't hold on for too long
Don't push for some more
Give me the peace I've been longing for

posted from Bloggeroid

Stage IV

I'm so into proposals and weddings that I tend to watch them whether it be from a friend, batchmate, acquaintance, celebrity or from anyone I found online.

So aside from the recent Chito-Neri proposal, that when I searched for it in YouTube the 'scandal' comes up instead of the proposal, I saw another one this morning from a known YouTube loveteam sensation: Jamich. It's unconventional since it's the girl, Mich, who proposes to the guy, Jam. Then Jam mentioned that he has cancer, probably his way of explaining why it's his gf who was proposing to him and not the other way around. I was shocked because although I'm not a fan, I didn't know he has cancer. I was expecting it online since they're an online sensation. Probably because I don't have FB friends who are not a fan? Or I'm just not updated. Haha.

Curiousity got the best of me when I searched for their Magpakailanman show since I've read online that they were recently featured. I was even thinking before as to how come they made it to the show when they are only known as love teams. So, I watched the one hour show and found out the following:

1. Mich loves Jam more. She's the one who provided their couple ring. Also, all throughout the show, that's what I noticed.
2. Yexel and Jam are brothers! I've been to Yexel's Toy Museum last year or 2 years ago. Hahaha. I though they're just magkabarkada.
3. Jam was a gambling addict.
4. I wonder how much YouTube pays if you're one of their partners?
5. Jake needs more acting workshop.

Aside from those, I watched Jessica Soho's interview wherein Jam mentioned he acquired lung cancer because of stress and although he doesn't smokes, he's a secondhand smoker. Like seriously?? Just because of stress?!?!?!

Also, although I know that being a secondhand smoker is worse, I never thought you can really get cancer from that. Probably from too much casino, Jam? You have a lot of people around you smoking? Good thing I don't like the smell of cigarette smoke. Even if you're done smoking but I can still smell it from your hands? Ewww. Anyhow, I still wish you the best, Jam.

So aside from that, I thought of things that made me such a paranoid again. What if that's me? What if that's Rai? I'll probably think the same thing: I'm still young. What could be the things that I would like to do? What could be on my Bucket List? Will I have a lot of mourners? Will I be visited? Will Rai propose to me soon enough?

Too many things going on my mind. I was asking Rai some of these but he was too sleepy to answer... actually, he was sleeping when I was asking. Hahaha.

So... what are your thoughts if you'll be Jam?

posted from Bloggeroid